Uganda: At 25 or 35, Responsibilities Are the Same

image Photo: Daily Monitor

MAN’S VIEW. A man’s age does not matter when it comes to marital tasks, writes ROLAND D. NASASIRA.

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MAN’S VIEW. A man’s age does not matter when it comes to marital tasks, writes ROLAND D. NASASIR.

I have had conversations with both married and single female friends and they share a view, that men who are willing to commit and settle down are either few or hard to find. Whenever I hear this, I wonder why such trends exist.

On the men's side, the few working class who left tertiary institutions approximately five or more years ago, say women are stressful. When I probe further, how and why, most of them such as Edmond Taremwa, a field officer say the moment you put a ring on a woman's finger, it will be the end of your independence, and she will dictate your movements. As such, most of them admitted that they plan to get married when they clock 30 and above. Here is why you need to have a second thought.

You become responsible

After university, some young men return to their parents' home, which also acts as the base for job-hunting, if they don't have any. This, however, yields nothing but comfort that you will not be working for anything, after all you will find food on the table and bills paid.

"Some parents may be okay seeing their sons around them. As a man, there is no way you will adjust your mind responsibly to run life on your own. Stepping out of your parents' home exposes you to the reality that you will have to pay house rent, utility bills and plan for your life ahead," says Mark Arinaitwe, a lawyer. "Before long, you get married due to peer or parental pressure and you learn how to shop for diapers."

Whether you decide to marry at 25 or 35, Arinaitwe says, some responsibilities are constant, unless you are assured of inheriting one of your father's houses.

He adds that getting accustomed to responsibilities helps you begin to see yourself as a father, provider and protector even when you are not yet married.

Strong will works

Imagine you get married and along the way, God forbid, misunderstandings arise between you and your wife, you disappear from your marital home only for your wife to find that you are at your parents'.

"Would she be wrong to brand you a daddy's or mummy's boy? Of course not. Running away from your marital home over misunderstandings can never be the solution. By virtue of the fact that you decided to get married, it means that you will work with your wife to make your marriage work. Instead, it helps to think positive and remain solution-focused no matter the complexity of the misunderstandings. If you run back home, what will your wife do?" Cosmas Oketch, a banker wonders.

Better future planning

In most cases, young men associate marriage with more responsibilities and a greater possibility of financial loss, which is not true.

"Some women think that after bachelorhood, it may be hard to think for two. I hope married and engaged men understand this. As a man, you may think better about life ahead, but when you are blessed with an optimistic and constructive woman, she will be supportive as you secure your family's future no matter what age you are," Oketch explains.

When you are married

A woman indirectly helps you to think best for the future. Many things change for the better. You stop seeing yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend to wife and husband but this takes commitment and appreciation that you and her were meant to be one. You will find yourself dropping all those extravagant tendencies such as excess drinking. You will stop postponing those urgent things such as buying land to start building and work tirelessly to have it within a short time.

ON MARRIAGE

Nebath Ssenyonjo , a photographer says age does not matter but the key point is:

Keep the lines of communication open. The more you communicate to your partner what you want a marriage to look like, the more you will be able to see if this is the person you will marry. Whether a guy is 21 or 35, your boyfriend will appreciate you being open and honest about your vision.

Authors: All Africa

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